sixlessthansixty

I hide away because I want to be alone but I also want to be found I withdraw because I don’t want to talk to anyone but I want to be heard I pull back because I am afraid but I want someone to help me be brave

What`s wrong, mommy? Who is this man All dressed in white? He strokes my head Promising it will be all right. What`s wrong, mommy? Why are you sad? Why are you crying? I`m so tired But I`ll keep trying. What`s wrong, mommy? He stuck me with a needle And you left the room. Don`t you know I need you? I feel like I`m doomed. What`s wrong, mommy? The man speaks softly As he pets my head It`s getting dark, mommy… I think it`s the end. Goodbye mommy I`ve been sick For so, so long But don`t be sad, mommy I`ll never truly be gone.

The jog from happy to hopeless and back makes me feel like a record sk-sk-sk-skipping between lyrics. It never lasts too long; I can jump back a bit faster now.

It began with a cough.        Just a simple cough, surely the result of some pathenogenic pest   Aggravating my lungs            Just for the hell of it. People make great hosts, you know. The coughing quickly became hacking        Gasping for air and gagging from the ferocity of the bacterial assault    On my weakening body.             No doubt these microbes were resistant to medication. I started seeing things.   

I do not remember much before I was born... I remember it was dark and cold after I was born. There was warmth above me--at least I think it was above me--so I reached up... up... It was difficult, for there was a heaviness that kept pushing down on me. When I broke through it was so warm and for the first time I saw light. I remember feeling small when I first saw the world. Everyone else was so much taller than I was. I remember the first time the light went away. I remember being so afraid at first, shivering in the darkness, until I looked up and saw tiny facets of light in the blackness. After that, I wasn`t so afraid anymore. I reme

My fondest memories are                            not of Disney Land,        nor of beach vacations,                                     or even graduating high school...                     When I look back into the past                            and reach for a moment                                             to make my heart go a-flutter                                      and warm my soul…                                                                          I think of you.                         I remember picking you up at the airport                                     and being so nervous.  

Listen up: i never said i wasn't jaded/cynical/sarcastic/cold/cruel. (why don't you pick an adjective, honey, coz i've heard 'em all) you've barely scratched the surface-- are you brave enough to find the girl under the laughter and joking smiles? i am sosososo tired of being used, abused, disappointed, left behind-- not good enough. are you willing to put yourself on the line? i refuse to accept anything less than everything. do you have the courage to chase me? because i am runrunrun running and i'm not about to slow down. if you want me... you'd better keep up.

Fleeting smiles and warm embraces and I will (always) be there Pretty words flow from laughing lips And even though we know that always really means never (Because always is an impossibility) We still accept those empty promises and hold them close Gently pressed against wounded hearts Left in the back of our minds to gather dust in firefly jars Arms around shaking shoulders and I will (always) be there Tears flowing from eyes squeezed shut And even though we know that always really means never (Because to say sometimes would be cruel) We still say those empty promises and press them close Gently pressed against bleeding souls